μεταφραζονται;

an effective way to catch an elephant: 

 Dig a huge pit and fill it with ashes.  Place a row of baby peas around the pit.  When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick him in the ash-hole.

Dear Abby,

A couple of women moved in across the hall from me.  One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is social worker in her mid twenties.

These two women go everywhere together, and I've never seen a man go into their apartment or come out.  Do you think they could be Lebanese?

WHAT A COINCIDENCE

A chicken farmer goes into a local tavern, takes a seat at the bar next to a woman, and orders a glass of champagne.

The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!"

He turns to her and says, "What a coincidence. This is a special day for me, I'm celebrating."

"This is a special day for me, too, and I'm also celebrating," says the woman.

"What a coincidence," says the man.

They clink glasses and he asks, "What are you celebrating?"

"My husband and I have been trying to have a child. Today, my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!"

"What a coincidence," says the man. "I'm a chicken farmer. For years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally fertile."

"That's great," says the woman. "How did your chickens become fertile?"

"I switched cocks," he replies.

"What a coincidence," she said.

A ghost wafts in to a brew pub and orders a Jack & Coke. The bartender tells him, "I'm sorry, sir, we don't serve spirits."

Sometimes things fall apart so that better things can fall together

When shit happens ,turn it into fertilizer