two jokes

 

 3 Samurai held a contest to see who was the best. The first Samurai walks into the arena. On a table is a small box, which he opens. A fly zips out and--SWISH!--he draws his sword and cuts the fly in two.

The second Samurai walks in, opens a new box and--SWISH! SWISH!--the fly falls in 4 pieces.

The third Samurai walks in. SWISH!--the fly flies away.

"You did not kill the fly!" The judges say.

"True," the swordsman replies, "but he will never have children again."

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A woman asks a male co-worker for advice on a sensitive subject.

"Two weeks ago when I saw my boyfriend he had a new box of condoms on

his nightstand, but last week 1/3 of them were gone.  I asked him why,

and he said he used a condom to masturbate because he liked the feeling.

Is that normal?"

"Oh, sure.  All guys do that!"

"Really?  Do you use a condom to masturbate?"

"Oh, no, of course not.  I thought you meant lying to their girlfriends."