χιουμορ αγγλιστι 1

 

What's the difference between a soprano and a seamstress?

A seamstress tucks up the frills

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Q: What is the definition of an optimist?

A: A tuba player with a pager

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I left my banjo in the backseat of my car and went into the store

for only a minute. When I came back, the rear window was smashed and

there were two more banjos in the backseat.

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There was the drummer who was kicked out because he couldn't keep

good time. He became despondent, so much so that he went and threw

himself behind a train.

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A week before the world premiere of a new opera, the conductor AND

the assistant conductor were imprudently traveling together and were

involved in a car accident, putting them out of commission for at

least three weeks.

Desperate, they concert promoters went to the orchestra and told

them, "Look, we're a week away from the opening night and we don't

have a conductor. Is there any orchestra member who can fill in

until the maestro recovers?" After a short pause, one of the viola

players got up and said, "Yeah, I can do it." The organizers were

hesitant; after all, he was a VIOLA player, for heaven's sakes. But

there were no other volunteers, so they decided to take a chance

with him.

Turns out, he was a more than capable replacement. The players liked

him; he knew the music well and had experience conducting. The

opening night was a success, with the media noting that the

orchestra performing well in spite of a substitute conductor. And so

it went for another two weeks until the regular conductor could

return to the podium. The conductor shook hands with the violist,

thanked him, gave him a token gift, and the violist took out his

viola and returned to the viola section for the first time in three

weeks.

His stand partner turned with surprise and said: "Jeez, man? Where

have you been?"