agglisti

 

In a small Southern town, a prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand—a sweet, elderly grandmother. He confidently approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She replied, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot, but you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned and didn't know how to recover. Desperate, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney nearly collapsed.

The judge quickly called both lawyers to approach the bench. In a low, serious tone, he said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair!"

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A man enters the confessional and says 'Bless me father for I have sinned; it has been one month since my last confession.

I've had sex with Fannie Green every week for the last month.'

The priest tells the sinner, 'You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Mary's.'

Soon, another man enters the confessional. 'Father, it has been two months since my last confession.

I have had sex with Fannie Green twice a week for the last two months.'

This time the priest asks, 'Who is this Fannie Green?'

'A new woman in the neighbourhood,' the sinner replies.

'Very well,' says the priest. 'Go and say ten Hail Mary's.'

The next morning in church, the priest is preparing to deliver his sermon when a gorgeous, tall woman enters the church.

All the men's eyes fall upon her as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down in front of the altar.

Her dress is green and very short, with matching very shiny emerald green shoes.

The priest and altar boy gasp as the woman sits down with her legs slightly spread apart, Sharon Stone style.

The priest turns to the altar boy and whispering asks, 'Is that Fannie Green?'

The altar boy replies, 'No Father, I think it's just the reflection off

her shoes