My husband and i were dress and ready for a lovely dinner and theatre. Since we’d been robbed before, we turn on the light and put the cat in the backyard.
When our uber arrived , we walk out the front door and our tubby cat scoot around our legs , ran inside and bolt upstairs. Because she loves to torment our parakeet, we couldn’t leave them behind. So my husband ran back inside to grab her and put her back in the yard again.
Not wanting the Uber driver to think the house would be empty the whole night, i casually told him my husband was just saying goodnight to my mom.
A few minutes later, my husband finally got into the car - hot and flustered. As the Uber driver pulled away, he said … ( to my growing horror)
“ I’m sorry , it took so long but the stupid cow is hiding under the bed, and i have to poke her ass with a coat hanger to get her come out. When she tried to run, i grabbed her by the neck and wrapped her in a blanket so she would not scratch me like the last time. But it work. I haul her big fat ass downstair and threw her back into the yard … she’d better not leave a big shit in the vegetable garden again.
The silence in the Uber is deafening.
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